An Open Letter to Ig*r

Hey Casper!

I can picture you in my head making a face right now if you’re reading this. You hate it when I call you Casper, what could I do it’s our silly inside thing. It all started with me trying to read your second name in your ID from afar. With glasses on I tried to figure out what was written on it which resulted in a mixed up of words– thus Casper was born.

[What? You’re second name’s Casper?]

I never thought we’d click. I got to know you only last year on the first semester of third year. I didn’t even know that you existed and part of our batch; your LOA on our sophomore year explains why I wasn’t familiar with you despite knowing your blockmates. Although we were classmates in almost every subject we hadn’t really talked that much.

It’s funny that it’s just this semester that we really started talking like friends and treating one another as more than just acquaintances. We became groupmates in our management subject which means I had to work with you for the rest of the year.

I remember how Aira and Marge didn’t want you in our group because there had been rumors circulating that you are a total slacker. I took all those information in but I never let my mind feed on it. I tried observing the way you behaved and the way you participated as well as the way you gave inputs on the project we are currently working on.

[Well, I am pretty impressed at your ideas and the effort you are giving in. You proved a lot of heads wrong.]

I slowly became more comfortable with you as days passed. Oh, only if you knew how I was a hater of your egoistic behavior during junior year. You started teasing me with my randomness and crazy ideas. Most of the time you make fun of me but still there’s that good side of you that accompanies it.

After a few weeks you gave me the name MH (which is now a huge hit in campus). I became your defendant against Aira and Marge’s negative opinions about you. They always say that the only reason I could say good things about you is because we are kind of close relative to your relationship with them.

[Maybe. But everyone has their biases. Besides, I can truly see the nice person in you that they fail to look at even though it’s already waving and saying hi at them.]

This letter has nothing to do with our inside jokes and how we became close. In fact, I just wanted to say sorry and thank you.

Sorry.

When you were calling last night at around nine in the evening I purposely didn’t answer my phone. I had this gut feel that the reason why you were doing that was because I already left our home organization. It had been a week ago since that incident and Camille who’s the VP for Marketing was the only person I told about it. (Well, she asked. Besides she’s my boss.)

Yes, you are the next in position after her and you have the right to know. I thought you already did, I even thought that it’s the reason why you were treating me coldly lately.

I didn’t answer your call because I didn’t want to explain anything to you. I left because I was already having a difficult time with my two other organizations at hand. If I would still continue to be part of our home organization it would be a shame on my part that I couldn’t perform my tasks as a Marketing Executive like the others because I couldn’t focus on it.

Another thing that I didn’t want to tell you is that, I quit because the values of the people in the organization is not parallel with mine. I couldn’t work in such an environment that doesn’t help me achieve my fullness as a person. I don’t have anything against anyone, it’s just that it doesn’t provide a conducive environment for me.

Thank you.

When I asked you in class why you called me the night before, you gave me your worried look. I was staring blankly at your crumpled face then you said, “You didn’t tell me you quit!”

“Oh. Camille didn’t tell you? Sorry” was the only response I could give.

“It’s circulating around and I just want to check if you’re okay. You should have told me before you did that” was your reply.

I didn’t know you’d be concern about it. I mean, it’s no big deal for me. But I do appreciate your gesture. (It’s really nice of you). When I told Camille (who I call a friend) that I didn’t want the position anymore she didn’t even bother responding, yet you who I’m not super close with made an effort to reach out.

Dude, I know you won’t be able to read this, still let me say “thank you”– from the bottom of my heart and from the deepest trench of my soul.

-MH-

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